Long weekend in Vienna, 2019 - day 1

Time for another trip - Vienna! I like to try and go away somewhere for a few days around my birthday at the end of March (except last year), and this year one of my favourite musicians was doing a European tour and would be in Vienna on the day. To be honest I was a bit nervous. While I spent a few days by myself in Guernsey last summer and again in Singapore and loved both, my last solo European city break was two years ago in Amsterdam, where I had felt down and bored and lonely, wasn't really taken by the city, and just didn't enjoy it very much. I was a bit worried that would be the case again. But Vienna is lovely! :)

Friday 29th March

After leaving home at 3:30am, I finally arrived at my Airbnb in Neubau, the city's seventh district, at about 2pm. I've rented a room in someone's home, and the place is gorgeous - one of those old buildings built a couple of centuries ago, with huge wooden doors, high ceilings, tiled hallways, wide stone stairways, and a courtyard. Something straight out of a Parisian scene - funnily enough exactly like Celine's apartment building at the end of Before Sunset. (For those who don't know that film, it's the second of three films, each set a decade apart, following a young man and woman who, in the first film, meet while travelling and spend a night wandering around Vienna - Before Sunrise. The second film sees them reunite in Paris.) It also reminds me of Zenhouse in Canada with its smell of spices, houseplants on the countertops and windowsills, an eclectic variety of items on display, and a general eco-friendly and bohemian vibe. Anyway, it's old and dated but in a lovely, charming way, and while my room is basically furnished it's quiet and peaceful and warm from the afternoon sunlight streaming through the tall, wide windows.

After resting and enjoying the peace and quiet in the apartment for a few hours, I left around 5pm and made my way down to the edge of the city centre, only 10-15 minutes away. I passed the Museumsquartier and into Maria-Theresien-Platz, which is flanked by the Kunsthistorisches Museum (art history) on one side and Naturhistorisches Museum (natural history) on the other, with a statue of Empress Maria Theresa in the centre. Across the street was a big square with a few grassy areas, a couple of man-on-horse statues and another huge impressive building which I later realised was the Hofburg Palace (duh). Next to one of the statues was a little temporary exhibition celebrating the centenary of women winning the right to vote in 1919; nine lit-up boards about nine particular influential women in the early 20th century feminist movement. Hungry now, I went to find a restaurant I'd seen on Tripadvisor, but that was packed so I headed back to another traditional gasthaus (tavern) I'd passed earlier.

Hofburg Palace

I was the only person in there, apart from three or four locals who were evidently regulars. Thankfully they sat me in the main dining area, a room to the side of the entrance area, so I was away from the locals and didn't have the staff watching me as I sat there. I ordered Wiener Schnitzel, albeit pork instead of the traditional and more expensive veal. It was huge! Like, it took up the whole plate. It came with some fried potato cubes and a side dish of pickled cabbage, carrot, cucumber and tomato, which was really nice and crisp and refreshing contrast to the fried breadcrumbed meat. It was all nice enough! Nothing special but it's not meant to be, it's just an easy and simple and filling meal. The locals had a big, docile bloodhound with them and it kept coming over to the doorway and looking at me with eyes that said it wanted to come and say hello and see my food but also didn't dare, haha.

It was still only 7:15pm by the time I left so I retraced by steps back to a gelateria I'd passed earlier, La Romana. It was a modern and trendy place (evidently evolved somewhat from when it was established in 1947) that sold a range of interesting creations. I chose a cone, which they then lined with molten chocolate (I chose white), and had one scoop each of two different flavours: "Sacher", a rich chocolate one with chunks of chocolate cake and ripples of apricot jam running through it (after the city's famous Sachertorte), and "Crumbles", a delicious almond gelato with crunchy pieces of crumbled chocolate biscuit and caramelised almonds. Yum! Alfresco eating seems to be a big thing here, as in France and Spain and Greece and many other European countries, and every café and eatery in the city has tables and chairs out the front, so I went and sat on one to enjoy the gelato; it was a pretty quiet street so it was nice and I didn't feel awkward as I probably would have if it was busier. After that I just walked back to the apartment, and finished the evening by wrapping myself in an old knitted blanket, made in subdued earthy colours, and sat writing in my notebook at the desk, the high-ceilinged room warmly lit by the lamp in the corner :)

2019 intentions - update

Hello! Sooo, I know it's been over two months since my last post... as usual, I've not had any ideas of something to write about. Now, suddenly, I do have something, and then will have two more things in a few weeks' time, so I thought I'd just do an update following up on my previous post at New Year, before cracking on with the others!

 - CBT: This is going fairly well so far, next week will be the sixth session of eight. I've actually been feeling a lot better the last couple of months (not completely), so haven't really been able to put the tools and techniques into practice. But my mum pointed out that it's probably a good thing that I've been feeling fine while doing the CBT, because if I was still feeling really down and overwhelmed, it might have been too much to take in and try to do. This way, I can take it in, make notes and process it, and start to incorporate the techniques into my life without the pressure of feeling bad if I don't pick them up quickly or whatever.

 - Do a writing course: Done nada so far... I have an issue with motivation (which is actually the topic of the next CBT session). This writing course is completely individually done, completely online and completely open-ended. I'm not attending a weekly session where I'm assigned homework, there are no deadlines, there are no classmates to talk to. Those things make a big difference to me. But the question is, how to make myself do this course? I'd like to, but I'm very forgetful. Perhaps once I actually get started I'll be more likely to remember it. At my new job I get a full hour lunch break, but I usually eat at my desk and take the hour to go for a walk - but when it's really wet and windy, I could take my tablet to the building's break-out areas with chairs and desks and do some of the course then.

 - Perhaps restart and finish the nutrition course: Done nada so far, so looking unlikely, perhaps one day but not a priority right now.

 - Get a new job: Yes! I was offered a job in the first week of January so have been in it for nearly a month now. While the work the company does isn't something I'm interested in, the environment is so much nicer, the people are really friendly and welcoming and relaxed, and my tasks are slightly more interesting and creative. Getting this job, being able to leave the old one, has definitely been a major factor in me feeling better the last couple of months.

 - Learn to drive: Still waiting for a driving school to have availability with automatic cars! I do kind of want to do an intensive course and have it done in one week, but I'm not good under pressure... I should start studying the theory, that would be a good starting point. Again, forgetfulness.

 - Get out more: Yes! I wouldn't have said this has changed much, that I'm still spending most of my evenings in front of the telly, but, actually, I have been out a bit more, and that's something, and my sister said I definitely have. What I've started to do is utilise the calendar on my phone, which I look at most days - I input things I'm interested in going to, even if I haven't decided whether to actually go or not, so that I remember them and am more likely to go. Woohoo =]

 - Save money: Haven't made a budget yet, but have moved a bit of what I have left at the end of the month into my savings, which is better than nothing. I've just signed up to Monzo, a digital bank, which you access and control through a smartphone app, and which allows you to create Pots for different savings goals, rather than just keep everything together in one savings account. You can also set monthly budgets, such as £50 for eating out and other social/leisure things, and there are things like the option to round-up spending and put the change into a Pot (e.g. if I spend £1.60, 40p will be automatically moved into savings).

 - Build up habits of meditation, yoga, mindfulness and gratitude: Done nada so far... But I've just entered an afterwork meditation session held every Thursday at a centre in town into my phone calendar, and once I get a new phone next week (with more internal storage) I'll download a meditation app so I can do a guided meditation at home after work or in the morning (if I remember!)

 - Get back into pagan spirituality: Done nada so far...

 - Climb Snowdon (or Cadair Idris): I haven't done anything towards planning this yet - I should just pick a date!

 - Exercise more: Done nada so far...

 - Eat more plants: Haven't done much towards this. I've included a few full-of-veg vegan recipes on the most recent meal plan, but haven't made an effort to make veg snacks for work, like green smoothies, or spiced roasted chickpeas, or celery sticks with peanut butter, or carrots with hummus. Those things are so simple, I just need to do it - like I just spontaneously made a green smoothie bowl for breakfast this morning, haha! Yummy =]

 - Read less self-help books: Yes! Haven't read any self-help books so far :) Instead I've read all the books I got for Christmas - mostly memoirs - and a couple of others.

...So, out of those 13 things I've only really ticked four, and half-ticked another couple, but there are a few other things I have done:

 - Signed up to take part in a 25km/15-mile hike on 8th June, as part of the Jurassic Coast Challenge, as a personal challenge and to raise money for mental health charity Mind. Read more and donate if you'd like to on my JustGiving page :)

 - Entered a competiton to spend three months living in an Italian village this summer, learning to cook, learning the language, growing vegetables, and helping a local NGO to revitalise the emptying village. The competition was open to people all over the world and there'll only be four winners, so it's unlikely I'll get even shortlisted, but I had to apply, it would be a dream come true!

 - Want to enter a travel writing competition to win a 14-day trip to Portugal with a travel writer mentor. However, the closing date is next Wednesday and I don't have any ideas on what to write about! They've given three themes to pick one from, but I can't think of anything...

In the end, some progress is better than none :)

New year - Intentions for 2019

I know it's been nearly two months since I last posted anything - sorry! Several times I've started writing something while in a particular mood but then found it difficult to continue once that mood had passed. There's never really any method to my writing, I don't use any kind of structure or planning technique... I just write, for hours, and overthink, and edit, and get very tired...

It's just gone half past midnight on what is now 1st January 2019. A new year. In some ways it's just another day. I've never made much of New Year, most years I've just spent it with my family and this evening I've just been at home alone watching a film like any other night. A couple of guys squeezed through the fencing onto the building site next door and let off some fireworks around half past ten, and several neighbours came out onto their balconies to watch, introducing themselves to each other and sharing a laugh. Then at midnight several firework displays were visible at once across the water (pretty!) and neighbours came out onto balconies again, some attempting to sing Auld Lang Syne without really knowing the words. It sounded nice. I might have gone out and joined them if the Christmas tree wasn't blocking the balcony door, haha.

New Year is often seen as a new start, too, a chance to start afresh, to make changes, etc. I've never really made new year's resolutions, but 2018, especially the second half, has been very difficult for me and I seriously need to make some changes. For months I've been feeling frustrated, angry, afraid, hopeless, incredibly lonely, full of self-loathing, and a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with moderate depression and anxiety. It wasn't a surprise at all, I've been dealing with both of those things for years, but I'm glad to have it confirmed so I can get some help. My family also believe I have mild Asperger's (I don't disagree, it would explain a lot, especially my difficulty with making conversation) and I'm waiting to hear about getting an assessment for that. But I've had enough of feeling so awful, I need to change my life.

So, what changes do I have in mind? What I wanted to do over this last week was to write them down and make proper SMART goals (specific, measurable/meaningful, actionable, realistic and time-bound) out of them, in a bid to make it more likely that I'll do them, have a plan to follow, etc. That hasn't happened. So here's a list of things I want to do, in no particular order:

 - CBT: This isn't a personally-selected goal as such, but still something I'll be doing in the near future that should help me make changes. I've been referred for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, to help with the depression, and that eight-week group course starts early February. I'm looking forward to meeting other people who are in a similar boat and learning different things I can do to improve how I feel, or at least find it easier to cope, in everyday life.

 - Do a writing course: I've signed up to an online writing course, which I came across several weeks ago and was on sale after Christmas. It's for non-fiction writing and the tutor is a journalist. I can't remember most of what it covers but one of them was how to come up with ideas for and plan pieces. It's a fully-online, start-anytime course, so what I need to somehow make sure I do is start it, and then actually do it, and complete it. I'm really not good at doing and finishing things that are for my own benefit.

 - Perhaps restart and finish the nutrition course: Back in March I signed up for a short, basic distance-learning course in nutrition. I did the first of three modules in April... and then just didn't continue. As I said, I'm really not good at completing things that are for my own benefit or that interest me at first, at doing the work, even if I've paid for it. I don't know why, it's really frustrating and I'm hoping that kind of thing might be helped by CBT. I'd like to finish something, and go on to do other courses in other things that interest me, which could help broaden my career options.

 - Get a new job: I got my current job while I was still living in Winchester, but living in Woolston now means that my commute is on average an hour and a half each way, exhausting and expensive. I've been looking for a job in Southampton for a few months now and had a few interviews with no luck, but just need to keep trying. Figuring out what my next step work-wise is something else I need to do - being able to spend the majority of my time doing something that is interesting, meaningful, satisfying and fulfilling to me is very important - but for now I just need something still in admin but closer to home so I can have more time and energy to focus on other things.

 - Learn to drive: I've never been interested in driving, and didn't get on well at all in my ten hours of lessons in a manual car when I was 19. Since then I've preferred to spend my money on other things such as going on trips, and have built up a fear of driving and being at the mercy of idiots on the road and a fierce resistance to the cost of lessons, buying, running and maintaining a car. I hate the idea, I resent that it's necessary, I don't want to do it - but at last I've reached a point where my fear of my life staying as it is for much longer is bigger than those things. If I can drive I can move out of the city, at least to the suburbs, somewhere I can hear birdsong and there are trees and grass and plants around. I can look for jobs with organisations whose work I love, but which are usually based out in the middle of nowhere, like wildlife and environmental charities. I'll be able to get out more, go to the monthly ceilidhs in Chandlers Ford and more folk gigs and folk festivals and pagan events and National Trust places and all sorts of other things because I won't be restricted by public transport. I might even be able to 'find my tribe' at all these things, hopefully make some friends. I could take up a hobby again, like archery or swing dancing, and go to weekly classes. I'll be able to just hop in the car and go out to the countryside for a walk, and go down to Devon and Cornwall for a weekend, or fly up to Inverness and hire a car in the Highlands. I'll be able to do so much and have more to look forward to in daily life. But I know that learning to drive can be a very long process, so I'm going to look at it less like "learn to drive" and more like "take driving lessons". One at a time. That's doable. Each lesson done is an achievement. What I'd prefer to do is take an intensive course but, unless I delay it by another six months to save up and then use precious annual leave for such a course, I can't afford to do that. I've contacted a few driving schools for lesson prices, but I think I'll just pick one in the morning and book a taster lesson.

 - Get out more: I've signed up to the mailing lists and 'liked' the Facebook pages of some local music/performance places, so I can see if there's anything coming up I'd be interested in going to. A few weeks ago I made a pretty spontaneous decision to spend a Friday evening at the Art Café in town at a small folk gig, and it was such a lovely evening, I really enjoyed it, so I want to get out and do things like that more often. I'm thinking perhaps one 'social event' per month, be it a gig or a ceilidh or a dance class or a poetry slam or a creative workshop or a day of board games I have no idea how to play at my friend's house, or whatever. Events and activities where I can interact with other people if I choose to, people who are there because they too like whatever it is - rather than solo leisure activities like taking myself out for a meal and movie, as nice as that is sometimes.

 - Save money: I've never properly budgeted (or been taught how) and while I've always been more of a saver than a spender, for the last few months I haven't really been able to do that due to moving and a subsequent increase in rent, bills, food and transport costs, and the amount in my savings account is almost nothing. I want to sit down and figure out a budget, look at where and how I can save money and take action on it, and decide whether I want to put money aside for all of the things I want to save for (driving lessons, car, trips/holidays, future home deposit, and money for everyday leisure) but lesser amounts for each, or just choose one or two for now and be able to save more quickly for those things, sacrificing the others for a while.

 - Build up habits of meditation, yoga, mindfulness and gratitude: These things are scientifically proven to help improve your mental wellbeing if you practice them consistently. I'd like to schedule time for them into my day, so something like five minutes of yoga stretches when I wake up each morning and perhaps again before bed, mindfulness moments whenever I can during the day, noting down three things I'm grateful for at the end of each day (or that could be a positive way to start the day, too) and listening to a short guided meditation or piece of soothing music before I go to sleep. Something like that. Start off small. I'd like to attend a meditation course one day, though, and have signed up to the mailing list/liked the Facebook page of the Buddhist meditation centre in town, which holds courses and workshops in meditation and Buddhist teachings.

 - Get back into pagan spirituality: I'm not a practising pagan, but it's kind of my spiritual community. Again, once I learn to drive I'll be going to pagan-y events and festivals and finding local meetups. I came across paganism in my early teens and was instantly drawn to it because it encompassed everything I had loved since I was little: the countryside, nature, the different seasons, fairies, witches, magic, folklore and myths and legends (King Arthur and Robin Hood especially), the connected-to-earth culture/way of life of Native Americans and pre-Christian European cultures, etc. There's quite a bit of pagan music on my iPod, and it tends to be what I listen to when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed or down about reality. I've neglected that part of me for years and want to reconnect with it, and make it part of my daily life, because it's a core part of who I am and brings me joy.

 - Climb Snowdon (or Cadair Idris): Pretty self-explanatory. I've fancied the idea for a while. Not for charity or anything, just for me. A physical challenge instead of a mental one for a change. Should probably think about when I'd like to do that, and do a bit of training!

 - Exercise more: Again, something I'd like to make a habit of and incorporate into my days in a structured way, because it's good for your physical and mental health. I already walk a bit, though not as much as I used to, and a few minutes of yoga at the start and/or end of each day will be a start, but I'd like to do more cardio too. Perhaps a starting point could be something like going out for a run around the block for five minutes as soon as I get home from work on a specific day each week (and any day I get home feeling crap), or do 60 seconds of star jumps twice a day.

 - Eat more plants: While I do eat pretty healthily, I almost never get the recommended five portions of fruit and veg a day, and when I do eat fruit or veg it's usually the same things, which doesn't provide much nutritional variation. I'd like to make sure I eat the recommended amount most days, and mostly veggies. I'm going to look up some recipes for green veg smoothies and juices, and start taking raw veg sticks to work as snacks sometimes. Eat the rainbow! I don't want to go overboard on it - I also want to let myself eat more pasta and comfort food, haha!

 - Read less self-help books: I think that self-help and personal development books count for the largest proportion of what I've read over the last few years. I love them, they're interesting and great, I'm passionate about those kind of topics, but there's just so much information in even just one book, so many things you can do or to think about, that it's overwhelming. I know quite a bit of the theory by now, but haven't really done much to try anything out and and actually learn and progress. I'd like to think less and just start taking action. I'd like to get back to reading just because I love it, because I want to lose myself in another world or am interested in the topic of a book, rather than because I think it could help me sort my life out.

There are so many things I want to do, more than I can mention. My mind gets so full of things I want to do or feel I should do that it's challenging to actually sort them out a bit and think "okay, I want to do this, I can break it down to these things and do them this way". I guess this blog post is less for you readers and more for me, it's my way of sorting some of them out. I've picked ones that are centered around my wellbeing or work/career development/exploration, rather than things I'd just like to do, like learn to make pasta. The challenge now is actually doing them, and I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. All together they seem a lot of things to start trying to do, but I think I've cut them down into small, manageable first steps. We shall see!

Okay, I've been writing this for five hours! To be honest, it's still less than a post usually tends to take, but it does mean it's 5:30am! I'm glad I've managed to get a post done finally, but it's time to wrap this up, I need to sleeeeeeep. This is an awfully long post and thank you if you've continued reading all the way to the end, I hope it's been interesting =]

Here's to a positive 2019!

Summer 2018 big trip - Trip of a lifetime

So! That's it. How to finish up writing about a month-long trip of a lifetime? I can't believe it's been two and a half months already since I came home. Three months ago I was on the way to Sydney. A whole quarter of a year. I remember looking out the window of the car as we left Cairns the morning we arrived, feeling so excited and happy, thinking how wonderful it was to be there, and not quite believing I had an entire month of it. Time flies. It's achingly depressing. Of course, the fact that experiences are limited in time only makes them more special - if they were to go on forever we wouldn't enjoy them so much...

At the end of the trip, after a month of doing something every day, and a week of oppressive heat and humidity, I was worn out. Although I loved Singapore it had been a bit of a struggle to make myself get out and explore even as much as I had in the last couple of days. Part of me was glad to be returning home, to my own bed and the cooler weather and the English countryside. But I was also very sad.

Singapore was stunning. When someone asked me, just after I had got home, if I would go back there, my response was that I didn't know – part of me wanted to, but I really didn't like the climate in that region and found it difficult to be there, I'm not really interested in going anywhere else in south-east Asia at the moment and it's a long way to go to just spend a few days in a city. Now, however, I've kind of forgotten how bad it was and I would like to go back one day. Perhaps I'd find it easier to handle the weather if it's just for a few days or so, rather than a month. It's such a cool place, I was impressed with so many things there, even the safety videos on the MRT. I'd like to spend more time at Gardens by the Bay, visit the Singapore City Gallery, go to a museum or two and learn more about the city's history, visit some temples, eat more of that delicious food, wander into Chinatown and not just skirt the edge of it, go over to Sentosa, perhaps go to the Raffles Hotel and have a Singapore Sling (haha), maybe even try some durian (a fruit which smells so bad that the MRT even has signs up saying "No food or drink. No smoking. No flammable goods. No durian.").

Bali wasn't my kind of place. While I enjoyed the things I did there – the cooking class, the sessions at the Yoga Barn – I can't say I liked the place itself; at least, not Kuta and Ubud. I may have enjoyed other, less urban, areas more. After I left, my sister and her friend went to the island of Nusa Lembogan, which is the real tropical island paradise that Bali is made out to be, with beautiful clear turquoise waters (rough seas though), white sandy beaches, stunning colourful coral reefs, MANTA RAYS!!!! (very jealous of them seeing those up close)… I would have liked it there, for a little while. Someone asked me if, despite not really enjoying Bali, I was glad I went. I can be very pernickety with the words I use and to me the word "glad" implies pleasure and happiness - so the answer to that question is no. But I recognise that it was a positive thing that I did go, that I went out of my comfort zone and faced my fear of the unknown, and learned for sure, from experience, that Bali and other similar places aren't for me, or I for them.

But Australia... I loved the rural Atherton Tablelands, especially the area around Lake Tinaroo, it's beautiful. I had such a lovely time at my aunt's, and only regret that I didn't get up to go for the 6am dog walk at least some mornings while we were there. There's a reason why she moved there, why so many people choose to move to Australia and New Zealand: the lifestyle. It is enviable. Yes, people still have to work full-time, have to pay rent or mortgages, have responsibilities and problems and fears, etc. But it's more easy-going than here in the UK, the work-life balance is easier to achieve, people make it more of a priority. There's a culture of community too; people are friendly, they get to know their neighbours and look out for each other. Health and safety isn't so ridiculous over there, people just use common sense and it serves them fine, but they're very strict on understandable, sensible things like speed limits and sun protection. And because there's so much land you can get more for your money than over here. With the money they got from selling their regular, two-bedroom terraced house near Salisbury, Tracy and Rob were able to buy an acre of land in a lovely rural location near a huge lake and design and build a stunning home. Of course, the downside is that it's so far away. And the heat. And the typhoons. And crocodiles. And all sorts of nasty spiders and bugs and creepy crawlies. We're very sheltered here in the UK, we don't have any dangerous animals, natural disasters or such severe weather. Still, I wish it wasn't so far away.

Experiencing a place from a local's perspective, or being shown round by a local, is something every traveller wants. I was fortunate enough to have that for a lot of this trip - at my aunt's, a little in Sydney, and on my first day in Singapore. I've been on tours run by locals in places before, but as part of a group of other tourists. Experiencing and learning about a place, the history, the food, the culture, etc., from a local who is a friend or family member you know well and who knows you, makes it infinitely better, so much richer, more wonderful, the memories stronger and more precious. I am ever so grateful that I was able to go on this trip.

Highlights? Well, the entire time at my aunt's. The skydive. The day where it was just me and my aunt. Sydney. The first day in Singapore. Last evening in Singapore. ...That's quite a lot, haha. But it was amazing, and it's made me rethink a little about how I want to travel in future.

I don't really know how to finish this up. I guess... so where next? Lots of people have asked me that. The only one I have planned at the moment is, thanks to generous family, a few days in Vienna at the end of March, around my birthday. I usually go on a little trip around then anyway, and one of my favourite musician/composers is performing in Vienna on the day itself. I'll spend some time in the city, which is meant to be lovely, but I'd like to get out into some more rural places, too, to the mountains if I can. I am a little nervous, though, seeing as I'll be flying out there literally two days after Brexit, haha... :/

For anyone who has read every post so far, thank you :) I know it's taken me a ludicrously long time to finish writing about this trip, with weeks in between posts since I got home, so thank you for keeping interested. Now, it's back to trying to think of things to blog about! I have some ideas. So, until the next post - byee!

Summer 2018 big trip - day 26

Wednesday 22nd August

The hostel doesn't serve breakfast, and this was a public holiday so most places were closed, but eventually I found a modern, trendy café where I had shakshouka (eggs baked in a spicy tomato sauce) for a late breakfast, with a warm chocolate muffin and a lemon-and-ginger juice drink. Yummm! As I was finishing it started pouring down with rain, so I lingered a while. I was tired and it was raining so I decided to go back to the hostel, do a load of laundry and write a blog post or two on one of the computers they had there. (I hadn't taken my laptop on the trip, just my Kindle tablet, which is annoying to write on and kept switching itself off anyway.)

By the time the washing had gone through the tumble-drier it was around 2pm, the rain had cleared and I headed out… although a bit reluctantly. I was loving Singapore and wanted to go out and see as much as I could, but I was also worn out and the oppressive weather made being outside difficult. Anyway, I got the MRT to Clarke Quay, an area of riverside restaurants. Little was open and I wandered along a bit further to Boat Quay, opposite some of the first British colonial buildings, where I eventually had a late lunch at an Italian restaurant. Walking along, I had fancied pasta, and the sausage pasta dish I ordered sounded good (homemade Italian pork sausage and mushrooms sauteed in light cream), but when it came out I was a bit disappointed and wished I had gone to an Indian or Chinese place. Oh well! (The day after I got home, I went for lunch at a little Indian restaurant, and the day after that went for dinner at a Thai place and had sweet-and-sour. Prolonging the good food a bit longer… haha!)

After lunch I carried on walking along the river, looking at the old colonial buildings nestled in front of the modern city. I wondered what it must have been like for the wives and daughters of the men who came over here (and went to Australia, for that matter) back in the 19^th and early 20^th centuries, before air con was invented and when women still had to wear the clothes they wore in chilly England – corsets and petticoats and long, possibly heavy dresses. Did any of them have a choice? How did they feel? I'm sure some of them were excited at the prospect and happy to go, but others wouldn't have been. Did any of them speak out and say how they felt? Did any of them fully rebel and refuse to go, or refuse to stay and returned home? When I was younger it was often said I was born in the wrong era, and while there are some aspects of previous times I would like, I no longer agree with that. I'm very lucky and grateful to be living in the 21^st century and in a developed country where women are free and pretty much equal to men nowadays, where I can live my life almost as I please. I can get a full education, study subjects that interest me, get a job and earn a wage working in safe conditions, live independently, choose who and when (and indeed if) to marry, choose to not have children, go out and meet my friends, express my opinion, travel, etc. (Not to mention other modern benefits like decent healthcare, safe water, hygiene standards, air conditioning, central heating, refrigeration, etc.)

The river ended at Merlion Park, where it lets out into Marina Bay. The Merlion is Singapore's mascot and has the body of a fish, which represents the city's origin as a fishing village, and the head of a lion, which represents Singapore's original name Singapura, meaning "lion city". The park is directly opposite the Marina Bay Sands complex, the Singapore Flyer (a giant Ferris wheel) and the lotus-shaped ArtScience Museum, so was packed. There are several cafes and restaurants and kiosks around, and on seeing one place I immediately wished I'd carried on and found that instead of settling for lunch on Boat Quay. It sold traditional Singaporean things like kaya toast and chicken rice, which I soon wouldn't have the opportunity to have anymore. I was full up from the pasta, but got myself a cold drink. They had sour plum ones which sounded good, but my friend had recommended trying bandung, a drink made with evaporated or condensed milk and rose cordial syrup. (Evaporated and condensed milk are often used in drinks in Singapore, especially in tea and coffee... it seems they have a very sweet tooth over there.) The bandung was a bright pink, very sweet thing that tastes like Turkish Delight. It was nice, but very unusual, and there was a lot of it, so I drank it slowly. As I left and carried on round, I heard one kiosk blasting out, to my astonishment and wonderfully unashamedly, "We're All In This Together" from High School Musical. Haha! That made me laugh and put a big grin on my face. Fab :D

I carried on walking round to Marina Bay Sands. From across the water, and in the hazy heat, it's just surreal. Well, it's surreal when you're up close to it, too. The enormous complex is an integrated resort owned by the Las Vegas Sands company: it has an exhibition and convention centre, shopping centre, several celebrity-chef restaurants, a casino, museum, two theatres, and a hotel. The hotel's structure is now widely recognisable: the three 55-story towers are topped and bridged with a SkyPark that cantilevers off one of the towers by a huge 67m, nearly 200m above the ground. It's incredible. Amazing work of design, architecture and engineering.

As I said at the end of my previous post, I had come to Marina Bay Sands the evening before, and had been blown away, had stood looking up and around literally with my mouth open. The MRT station is underneath the complex and to exit you can either go up into the shopping centre (The Shoppes) or through a tunnel underneath and exit at Gardens by the Bay. I went up into the mall before heading to the Gardens. The Shoppes mall alone is amazing - being part of a luxury resort, it's the kind of place where everything is very aesthetically pleasing, oozes class, sophistication and luxury, that is full of designer boutiques and has a canal running through the middle of it. Above a circular pool in one part of the canal is the Rain Oculus, a piece of art/water feature that is basically a large transparent basin in the plaza above/outside the centre, from which collected rainwater is sent at intervals in a downward whirlpool into the canal below. That's cool. There is also a beautiful tea shop (well, as they call it, a tea salon and boutique), full of colourful, pretty, old-fashioned tea tins, which I had a wander round. I'm not a fan of tea, but there were a few blends which smelled very nice. I did buy two bite-sized treats from the counter: a black-tea-and-blackcurrant macaron, and a chocolate truffle flavoured with black tea, sesame and honey. Can't say I appreciated the flavour of the tea, haha.

As cool as Marina Bay Sands is, a shopping centre is a shopping centre, and Gardens by the Bay is much more me. This is a huge, 101-hectare (nearly 250-acre) nature park which is largely free and open till 2am. There are numerous smaller parks and gardens, some of them themed, two large conservatories - Flower Dome and Cloud Forest - and the Supertrees.

I wandered through some of the park, an area with little Heritage Gardens themed around the cultures of the major Sinagporean communities (Chinese, Malay, Indian), to get to the Conservatories. The main park area is open and free to enter, but you have to pay to go into the conservatories. It is expensive, but I couldn't not go in, I love those kind of places, the Gardens was one of the reasons I came to visit this country. Last entry to the domes was at 8pm, for a 9pm close, and it was gone six-thirty by this point. I had no idea how long it would take me to go round either one of them so I went in the Flower Dome first, because I love flowers.

Fleurs!!!!!! I walked in to see a hall full of flowers, and gasped and grinned and giggled in excitement like a little girl. Love it! The main display area in the centre of the building, which changes every few months, is the Flower Field, and the theme when I was there was the local Peranakan culture so the place was awash with lovely orchids. So preeeeeeetttttttyyyyyy. Hehe. I love places like this, where there are huge displays of flowers. The Flower Dome replicates the "cool-dry" climate in the Mediterranean and semi-arid regions, and the rest of it is made of several smaller gardens based on various cool-dry geographical regions around the world (the Med, South Africa, California, South America, Australia, etc.). In each of these gardens are wooden sculptures in amongst the plants, of animals from each region, like antelope and giraffes in the South African Garden and an owl in the Olive Grove. Part of the Succulent Garden had an "Aloes in Wonderland" display and there were sculptures of Alice in Wonderland figures, which was cute. My favourite of all was the dragon overlooking the entire conservatory from the Baobob Garden at the top.

Just before 8pm I left the Flower Dome and went over to the Cloud Forest, which replicates the "cool-moist" climate of tropical mountain regions. (The "cool" temperature in the domes is relative to the average outside temperature of Singapore and the equatorial region, which never really falls below 25 degrees Celcius. The domes are around 23 degrees.) The zones of this mist-shrouded Conservatory are different levels within a 35-metre-tall 'mountain' covered in lush vegetation, the world's tallest man-made waterfall, and a couple of elevated walkways. I wish I had known before I went that this dome was more educational/scientific, as I would have made more time to spend there; I wasn't much interested in information about the plants to be honest, but the Crystal Mountain zone was basically the geology section (I find it interesting), and the little Secret Garden was nice. The final section at the bottom of the mountain structure, and the one I liked most, was the Cloud Forest Gallery and Theatre. This was an impressive interactive exhibition about the (unofficial) current geological age, the Anthropocene - Age of Man - and how humanity's overpopulation, continued population growth and resulting overuse of resources has impacted the planet. I'm passionate about this kind of thing, and the exhibition was really really good, giving information not just about the issues but also about possible solutions - and actually explaining the latter, giving examples and telling you how they work, so people can go "Oh, that's really cool!" and hopefully some are inspired to get into that work and continue to find solutions. It's a real shame I could only spend literally five minutes in there.

So - 8:45pm on my last night in Singapore. My flight home was at 9am the next morning. One last thing to see before I left: the Garden Symphony, a music and light show held twice every evening in the Supertree Grove. The Supertrees are spectacular, wonderful, the most iconic and instantly-recognisable feature at Gardens by the Bay. There are 18 of these vertical gardens around the park, between 25 and 50 metres tall, and 12 are clustered together in the Supertree Grove. It's an amazing place to be, especially at night when the trees are lit up and the lights slowly shift from colour to colour. I had absolutely loved it straight away when I first visited the night before, and it was a great place, a very me place, to end the entire trip. The Garden Symphony was fantastic, the lights on the trees synced to fifteen minutes of classical music.

I lingered a while after it finished, sitting at the base of one of the Supertrees, gazing up and around. It was gone 9pm, full dark, very cloudy and threatening to rain. A big thunderstorm skirted the city and many people had left, although there were still quite a few still about. I could have stayed there for a long time, but after about half an hour semi-reluctantly started heading back to the hostel to go to bed - there was every possibility I wouldn't be able to sleep for the next four days. I dragged myself away from those marvellous structures, stopping to look back one last time. I would very much like to go there again one day.